My pastor, Tammy, is really cool. She's funny, encouraging, and committed to teaching Biblically-based truth. She is great at fostering a sense of community, and then actually being the community who we all need. It isn't difficult to talk to everyone in our church because we rarely top 50 people, but she is conscious about talking to everyone as regularly as she can.
After church today,
Tammy: Kirsten, you're sweet. Have you always been that way?
Me: Uh, not really. It's a daily struggle.
Tammy: Really? I don't see that.
Me: I have to make an effort to be kind to people. It's just hard.
We went on to talk about how I deal with mistakes my students make or how I handle situations while playing in our church band or leading a youth camp we are involved in. With teens, I don't mind to shake it off. They're young and figuring out who they are, and they need and deserve grace and love. With adults, it's so much harder to give mercy. With myself, it's the most difficult.
During my senior year of high school, a few friends and I came up with IDLP: I don't like people. When someone did something dumb, IDLP. When I would see a stupid thing on social media and send a screenshot to friends, IDLP. When Twitter became a thing and people annoyed me, #IDLP.
It became a habit. It became an excuse.
Not liking people allowed me to put up barriers that should not exist. While coming to realize that over the past six-ish months, I am learning to love people.
Being a part of book launch teams has helped me learn so much. I already knew that everyone is different and I could accept aspects of physical diversity, but relational and communicational diversity is more difficult for me.
I realized that I am changing. I want to be kind to my friends. I want to hide things on social media that prevent me from seeing the good in others and thinking the best of them. I want to be humble. I want to not get easily annoyed. I want to be like T-Swizzle and shake it off (sorry, I know I'm the only one who still says T-Swizzle, but Thug Story was the first Taylor Swift single to ~speak to me~).
Therefore, goodbye to #IDLP. I am taking a step forward.
"I am redeemed. You set me free.
So, I'll shake off these heavy chains,
Wipe away every stain.
I'm not who I used to be;
I am redeemed."
-Redeemed, Big Daddy Weave
I challenge you to love people, to accept differences, to live a life that is free and redeemed.
