Onward through this quest and FAQ

Since moving from southernmost Illinois to suburban New Jersey, I feel like I have a list of frequently asked questions. It's not a fault of those around me - I would rather be asked questions to engage in conversation than be ignored - though there is certainly a repetitive nature.

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FAQ #1: Why did you choose Drew?
Answer #1: As I was looking at theological schools in NYC and the surrounding area, Drew came up from either a Google or Wikipedia search. I looked into it and loved the focus on social justice. When I visited the campus in February, I fell in love. The cute, eclectic downtown atmosphere is similar to the downtown area of the small city where I did my undergrad. The campus is known as "The Forest," and my hometown is literally in the middle of a national forest. As cliche as it is, everything felt like home when I got to campus, and it has become my home base for the next few years.

FAQ #2: Why did you move here?
Answer #2: I have loved my travels to NYC in the past, and I knew that if I would move from home, I would want to be near this city. My home of southern Illinois is directly between Nashville, Tennessee and St. Louis, Missouri. I knew I would end up back at home if I moved to one of those locations, so it was really go big or go home. I was already home, so I thought I might as well go big. I've always loved Broadway, and it's great to be this close to superb theatrical experiences.

FAQ #3: What is your experience working with youth?
Answer #3: I have worked in a public school for the past six years in after-school clubs. I started as a volunteer and was later hired as part-time staff in addition to substitute teaching. I loved working with my students in academic and performance-based clubs. I have worked with a youth retreat for the past couple of years. (I leave out the details of all of the work that I have done with Chrysalis because it's too much to fit into a sound bite.) For about a year and a half, I worked with the youth in my church in Illinois as a Sunday school teacher. It's a small church, so I often only had one or two in my class. We got to know each other really well.

FAQ #4: What part of Illinois are you from?
Answer #4: I'm from the very bottom part of the state, closer to Kentucky or Missouri than anything else.
Q: *references being in Chicago once for a trip or going there for college*
A: Oh, I love Chicago. Fun times. I'm a lot further south, though.
Q: So like Carbondale?
A: Even further south, but yea, close enough.

FAQ #5: What's your church background?
Answer #5: I grew up in the Church of the Nazarene as a pastor's kid. For the past five years, I have gone to a church that is now non-denominational. I like the structure of a denomination, but I'm not sure where I align exactly. I'm Wesleyan-ish.

FAQ #6: You're getting an MDiv? What made you want to do that?
Answer #6: I know the normal thing with this degree is to want to preach, but that's really not my thing. I would love to do youth ministry and writing at some point. I have a 20 year plan to run a youth organization and publish a book, but I don't know what the steps are to get there at this point. I want the knowledge from a Master of Divinity to apply that later to what I'm doing.

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I have these answers basically down to a science when I'm asked at school, at church events, or in interviews. I really don't mind that people are getting to know me because it's nice to make connections and friends with people in the area, but yesterday I was called out for reciting one of my answers as if I was reading a resume. Haha oops.

One of my professors has stated over the past few weeks that the Old Testament exiles were experiencing much more of a quest than a journey. They didn't know where their paths would end up, but they were going forward anyway. I can relate to this; I'm out of my comfort zone and taking up new challenges. I don't know what's at the end of the road for me. I am on this quest anyway.

I have been reading the book of Matthew lately, and I got to verse 5:48 last night in The Message paraphrase. "Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

That is the direction toward which I aspire to live. I felt as if I had virtually no identity at the beginning of the month, but as I journey through this quest, I am picking myself back up and God is putting me back together.

Friend.
Reader.
High school girls' mentor.
Observer.
Book launcher.
Family member.
Social media enthusiast.
Student.
Christ-follower.

Onward through this quest.

What quests are you going through at the moment? Do you foresee your ending, or is it open to the mystery of what may be in store?

Jokes and reading and more jokes and more reading

Today begins week four of classes at seminary. Good news: I no longer feel like vomiting or hyperventilating when I say that I'm in theological school. Bad news: I finish a week of my studies and get a break from reading for about four seconds, and then the next week of classes begins. Good news: I love reading. Bad news: It never ends.

The cycles of unending reading are broken up by classes and chapel services on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays as well as spending time with friends and attending church on the weekends. I have some great professors (and I could write #fangirlyourfriends posts about all of them and those who I don't even have this semester!), and they say some funny things.

Rather than a serious post, here's a collection of funny pull-out quotes from professors:

1) I have a professor who begins each class period with a devotional reflection time. She got to class one day and said, "Does anybody have a Bible in here? It's Jesus school, and I forgot mine." I think only the TA had a Bible because the rest of us pulled out our phones. :)

2) My pastoral formation class is very informal and experience-oriented. We were discussing boundaries, and my professor said, "Sometimes, you have to set up boundaries as a religious leader. I had to change grocery stores because I would get stopped six times in the produce section, and I just wanted my apples!" Humorous in the moment (and boundaries are for real, so it has life applicability, too).

3) One professor was beginning class by saying, "We're going to start by..." when a student's phone GPS randomly turned on and said, "Go to the left." The professor included it in her opening and said, "We could start by going to the left, but I'm already pretty far there, so I'm not sure I could go any further." Her statement caused a good laugh for an early morning before a full day of class.

4) I have a professor who likes to make wordplay jokes. THESE ARE DIRECT WAYS TO KNOW HOW MY BRAIN AND MY HEART FUNCTION. I was literally laughing out loud today in class and had trouble controlling myself because I think he is absolutely hilarious. The joke that caused uncontrollable laughter: "You could find that on Google or Bing...Bing..They pay me to say that. I always mess it up with Bling." Gosh, so funny in the moment. I'm a mess who can't stop laughing at theoretically sponsored search-engine jokes. Bring me to your next comedy stand-up night because you'll have at least one audience member who laughs at the bad jokes. You're welcome. 

5) Same prof. Same puns. "You already have the tree and the roots. Now, you're adding truncation. It's not what you take with you on vacation."

6) One last one. Because we're at theo school and we like jokes. "Catalogs are often like the trinity. There are mysteries, but Augustine did not write on them [catalogs]."

You could say I'm having a good time. You could also say that I didn't leave my apartment for 28 hours (after only being gone for half an hour) because I'm reading constantly. Both statements are equally true.

Moving, exploring, and gaining new identities

Once upon a time, there was a 24 year old who decided to move across the country to go to school for something that she never saw herself doing but she is loving the experience thus far.

Hey, what's up, hello (shoutout to my boy, Fetty Wap). That 24 year old is me

A lot went into this move. I know I started thinking about it sometime last summer, I toured the school in February, I was accepted in April, I told immediate family in May, and then I resigned from all of my positions at the end of June before sharing everything via social media on July 2nd. Fast forward to September 4th, and I am writing in my bedroom in my apartment in New Jersey where I have been for two weeks as of tomorrow.

The story of all of the pieces moving together to get here is for another day. I find it necessary to acknowledge that I wouldn't be here without the support of friends and family at home, and I wouldn't have considered the possibility of all of this without the encouragement from the For the Love launch team Facebook group, brought together two and a half years ago. Thanks, J-Hat, but really, thanks, God.

Genuinely, I am loving it. I worried that I wouldn't because I am the worst at change unless I can completely control it. Lol life.

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This semester at Drew Theological School, I am taking theological writing and research, introduction to educational ministries, pastoral formation, and a hybrid biblical literature / preaching. I love the readings for educational ministries, everything about my pastoral formation class seems wonderful, and biblical literature is already opening my mind to things I never would have considered before. It's cool.

As my mind is being opened and my knowledge is being deepened, I am encouraged to ask more questions about the text rather than accept the stories as they previously have been presented to me. One professor was speaking about this topic and brought up the parable (aka a Bible word for stories that Jesus told to make a point) of the prodigal son (check out Luke 15:11-32 to read all of it). I am extremely familiar with this story because it is read at every Chrysalis Flight, so I have heard it approximately 80,000 times.

The professor, still, had a new perspective. The story opens with a man and his two sons which should already bring questions to mind. "A man doesn't just get two sons. Where is his wife? His girlfriend? His baby momma?"

So that was hilarious.

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Despite my introversion, I think I am doing well at stepping out and making new friends. I am getting over a respiratory infection which has limited my friend time a bit, but I am taking opportunities as they come (and as they balance with all of this reading that I get to do) and being adventurous, courageous, and brave.

The hardest part, really, is the lack of identity. In June, I could have identified myself as so many things. Beta Club Sponsor of the best club in Illinois. Drama Club Director of a small but talented group of kids. Chrysalis Community Lay Director, a pretentious thing for a 20-something to run a non-profit biannual youth camp, but a position that I loved and respected. Sunday school teacher to a tiny group of girls who want to learn more about the Bible, how to help others, and how to achieve their goals in life. Worship band guitar player. Sometimes community theatre participant but frequent theatrical patron. Person surrounded by numerous special friend groups with an always busy schedule from all of her commitments that she loved.

Now, a few less titles: Student seeking a Master of Divinity. New Jersey transplant. Sister, daughter, friend from afar. Jesus follower.

In Luke 22:25-26 MSG, Jesus says, "People in authority like to give themselves fancy titles. It's not going to be that way with you. Let the senior among you become the junior; let the leader act the part of the servant."

And that's hard. When we have done class introductions, mine goes something like this, "Hi, I'm Kirsten, like CURSE-ten. I just moved here from Illinois. I want to do youth ministry / non-profit work and write a book at some point, and I'm happy to be here."

It's all new. It's all happening. And I like it.