You still there?
K, good.
So, hi. :) It's been a little quiet around here, and before that it was a little heavy, and before that who even knows what was happening?
I've been really
Am I a middle-aged mom? Nope. Do I blog like one sometimes? Yep. Are most of my favorite people middle-aged moms (from Idina Menzel to friends to mentors)? Totally.
(I am completely playing off of a ridiculous stereotype of "mommy bloggers" as if women can't contribute anything else if they are stay-at-home-parents who happen to also write. Or if they work outside of the home. Or if they do whatever they want and people won't mind one's own business so they critique others for fun / for lack of intention because of not realizing the issues at play when one says "mommy blogger." Play it cool and tone it down, internet and real life peeps.)
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I survived my first year of theological school! I was asked if the work is academically challenging, I paused, and I said no...kinda. Because it's not hard as in I can't manage it.
At first, it was hard to adjust to life changes. Then, it was spiritually hard to determine what to let go of and what to keep with the knowledge that I brought with me (though so much of it was already in major shifts before starting my M.Div.). Now, it's just like life is hard kind of stuff. I'm not overwhelmed by schoolwork being schoolwork, but I was kind of in a rushed fog throughout the spring semester.
I *maybe* overloaded myself with taking six classes, working twenty hours per week, volunteering with high school girls at church, having an active social life, serving as Communications Officer of the Theological Student Association, and pretending that I was going to a Zumba class every week.
So I cut out Zumba and stuck with the rest.
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In the spring semester, I took Systematic Theology in which I learned about the three paradigms of Christianity: A) traditional / conservative; B) liberal / progressive; C) liberationist (including feminist, womanist, eco-justice, queer theology, etc.). I'm finding that I grew up A, I've worked to be in B for the past few years, and I'm somewhere between B and C right now. And that's a pretty cool life transition. I loved reading She Who Is by Elizabeth Johnson, God of the Oppressed by James Cone, and Sisters in the Wilderness by Delores Williams for this course, alongside a few other books.
I had a class on Race and American Christianity which helped to fill in some historical gaps and work toward articulating answers on why I care about racial issues. My favorite texts of the course were Exodus! by Eddie S. Glaude and Manliness and Civilization by Gail Bederman.
Next up, I was in Biblical Literature 2 with a group of friends (and we creatively named ourselves the Tuesday Crowd because class was held on a - spoiler alert - Tuesday). We studied early Christian texts from the Christian Testament and worked through viewing scripture through the lens of people with different experiences than one's own. After my Hebrew Bible class in the fall semester, this class reinforced the idea that maybe I'm not supposed to see myself as the hero of every story. Maybe that's unethical and maybe that hurts more people than it helps. Maybe the Bible is a tricky place that doesn't follow one storyline. And maybe, despite studying this book for nearly 25 years, I still have a lot to learn about the historical contexts and ethical ways to engage with the text in the present day.
As another continuation from the fall, I took Pastoral Formation 2. This class was on a religious community's identity and what I bring to the space, and it has been one of my favorites. Breathing Space by Heidi Neumark stood out to me, and I have referenced her reflections on ministry in the South Bronx frequently since reading it for class.
I registered for a PREP class, or Partnership for Religion and Education in Prisons. Our class had intended to study in a prison with outside students from Drew Theo along inside students, but the class was unfortunately cancelled in its PREP format. Instead, my class on The Search for the Good Community became a community organizing class, and I think I fell in love. I was already leaning toward switching into the M.Div.'s new social justice advocacy track, and this class confirmed that desire. I really loved the SHALOM model that was employed in the class structure.
In Good Community, I did a case study on Help One Now which I absolutely love, and I created a plan for a potential summer program engaging arts, justice, and health for under-resourced kids in Newark. I love the inclusion of arts and justice in working with youth, and this class proved that I don't have to separate those things (or anything else that I'm passionate about) in my work as a religious leader.
Finally, I was enrolled in the pre-departure class before traveling to Turkey. Drew requires Master of Divinity students to take a cross-cultural trip for about two weeks, often traveling to locations such as South Korea, South Africa, and El Savador with some trips to Arizona and southern California as well. Why did I pick Turkey? Um, well, I heard a friend and the professor talking about Turkey in October and they seemed passionate and I didn't know anything about the country and I said ehhh sounds cool enough.
Is this a terribly irresponsible way to determine where to travel overseas? Entirely. But, it worked out surprisingly well for me. (10/10 do not recommend traveling to a different country for the first time because your friend says it sounds cool unless you're in a trustworthy place and the cost is extremely reduced and actually the things you are doing are intentional toward making ethical choices of meeting with marginalized groups of people to hear about the cool work they're doing...)
So I have a lot to share about Turkey, but that will come another time.
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In the spring, I worked as a test proctor with undergraduate students needing academic accommodations, and it was great to see people outside of the theological school. It tends to become an insular community within campus, so mixing up the people who I saw was a nice change.
I was *constantly* working on TSA (see above, not connected to airport security) stuff which I absolutely loved, and I miss student government roles and colleagues who are dispersed for the summer.
I continued to fulfill my commitment to work with high school girls from church throughout the spring semester. I really loved the girls, and I am sad to see them go as I head toward an internship at a different church this fall.
Also, I probably could have had a lot more free time in my schedule if I didn't have such awesome friends who I wanted to hang out with all of the time. As I summarized previously, I had a year filled with great things like orientation, deans' revue, matriculation, #bageltour2k18, Women's March, National School Walk Out, friends in Bib Lit 1 / Preaching crew and friends in Tuesday Crowd, TSA meetings, having a garlic plant for three months and a fish for twelve days, and beginning to claim New Jersey as my home.
I definitely miss some really good friends from Illinois and I have let go of some others; meanwhile, I have gained such wonderful friends in New Jersey for which I am exceptionally grateful. *heart heart praise hands*
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For my Bib Lit 2 class, I was assigned to do a creative project from a Christian Testament text. After filming a "video selfie" with my friends, Brinna and Olivia, as a recap after we went to the Museum of the Bible, Brinna had a great revelation (ya see what I did there?) for us to make a video series similar to Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
With that, Riding in Cars with Theo Students was born.
For our submitted videos which we have now dubbed as season one, we discussed gun violence, gender topics, the pop culturalization of John 3:16, communion, and racial issues. We passed the class (and had tons of fun with the project), so I'm going to call it a success. We later decided to compile our bloopers and keep going, so season two is currently being filmed. I'm really thankful to have a roommate who has become such a close friend that I willingly spend extra time with her on this series and now work with her. :) Shoutout to Brinna for being the best.
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Speaking of work, my spring semester job is closed for the summer, and I have picked up a new job in graduate admissions. I spend my days answering the phones, replying to emails, and going through tasks about admissions-related topics. I just started last week so I'm a total newbie, but I'm looking forward to things to come like getting to represent Drew Theo at Wild Goose Festival next month!
When I'm not working, I'm taking part in an internship this summer on Drew's campus and in Newark. As the inaugural cohort of Justice Ministry Education at Drew and one of the first groups to exist through JME's program, I am really excited about what we have done and what is to come. We have gone through some prep work to get to this point, and we will have high school students from Newark on campus next month to work with the theatre program. On Saturday, I participated in an art parade which was a rad way to walk through 2.5 miles of Newark and get a sunburn. Worth it.
And what else am I doing this summer? Not much. I have read almost an entire book in a day, I have watched more Netflix in the past week than I have since October, and I am learning how to unwind and what it means to relax again. A friend said she is jealous of everything that I'm doing and I said that it's not all that it appears to be on the outside (because I have a lot of down time for few weeks), which I think goes to show that 1) not everything is as great as I might make it seem, 2) not everything is as bad as I might make it seem, and 3) friends are good to keep around because they say things like this which cause me to need to be honest yet grateful.
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Last Sunday, June 10, I signed up for a free CBS All-Access account so I could watch the Tony Awards. I had my lists of winning predictions, I took notes, I posted pictures on social media, and I live-tweeted.
It. Was. An. Event.
(Like, obviously it was a formal event, but I mean that as a slang for a good night or something really important or another pop culture slang term that I'm probably not cool enough to actually use)
I wanted Once on This Island to win their eight nominations. I have been so into the show after seeing it in December the day after it opened, and I am in love. They went home with the Tony for Best Revival of a Musical which is really just the best!
Let's pick some top moments / big thoughts from the night (in no particular order because that would be an unnecessary difficult):
A) I predicted about 40% of the winners, so Imma call that a good enough success rate
B) I have mixed feelings over Sara Bareilles and Josh Groban hosting, but they were mostly good. I disliked when they sang, "I gotta sing this eight times a week." That was full of privilege which discounts the hard work that it takes for normal people (who don't have established pop careers) to break into Broadway
C) Andrew Garfield's accent is hot which I had *almost* forgotten
D) LINDSAY MENDEZ WON HER FIRST TONY AWARD! I was 100% into that. She said, "I just want to say how proud I am to be part of a community that celebrates diversity and individuality. Be your true self, and the world will take note." It sounds like a line from Fame, so I'm like yassssss!!
E) I can't get into the idea of SpongeBob as a musical, yet they won one award
F) Mean Girls was nominated for twelve awards, won nothing, and had a disappointing performance. And this is coming from someone who is ~still obsessed~ with the movie
G) Frozen didn't win anything after being nominated for three awards, but Caissie Levy's performance of Let It Go is a highlight of my entire life
H) The drama department from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL performed Seasons of Love, and the entire Broadway community was in the feels
I) Patti LuPone said, "I have a deep appreciation for outspoken women." Gurlll, I relate
J) Chita Rivera won the lifetime achievement award off air, and a clip of her acceptance was played. She stated, "I wouldn't trade my life in the theatre for anything because theatre is life." Accurate
K) I obviously loved the performance of Once on This Island (of which I am extremely biased), but it causes me question: Why wasn't Alex Newell nominated? Mama will proviiiiide with awards to come because Alex is gold (and a really rad person who I met a few years ago on the Glee set) (Other OOTI biases: a friend went to school with the lead in the show, and one of the cast members is a Drew alum) (But I genuinely love the show)
L) The four musical awards were won by people of color (3/4 for The Band's Visit) which is a win because diversity is crucially important. After Tony Shalhoub won the best leading actor in a musical, he was speaking about ancestors and said, "May we, their descendants, never lose sight of what they taught us."
M) When Ari'el Stachel won the best featured actor in a musical, he stated, "I concealed, and I missed so many special events with them (my parents). [Kids are] telling us how transformative representation is. Your biggest obstacle may turn into your purpose."
I think Ari'el's acceptance speech really brings together what I love about musical theatre. This is a place where representation matters - as it does with all media, public offices, etc. - and Broadway still seems magical to me, somewhere in which anyone can turn an obstacle into a purpose.
On Monday, news was released that Jessica Vosk will be playing Elphaba in Wicked on Broadway. She played the role on tour, and I started following her online at that time because of how fun she seems. She left a career in finance to return to theatre, and that mystical element of musical theatre and creativity in general are what always pull me back into the hype.
I was ok with a life in which I worked random day jobs in order to have low-paying creative jobs and even-lower-paying or volunteer positions working with kids. I don't regret a day of it and I miss my former students and the things that I used to do, but sometimes we can give up something to go for something different. And maybe that something different just might have hope to make a change in the world.
And maybe that something different, for me, might include finding a way to combine loving kids and theatre and creating things and writing and social justice advocacy and non-profits and God and whatever else I remember that I love when I take the time to invest in myself.
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So, what comes next?
Well, probably some game nights with friends, writing an analysis of my trip to Turkey, working on JME materials, working in admissions, following up on tasks that I have put off for a month or two, and trying to live my best life.
Sometimes storytelling takes place in really intense, deep conversations about meaningful topics. Sometimes storytelling is just dumping my thoughts and expanding upon somewhat recent events into a place of the internet which is totally my own. Sometimes it takes on an unexpected form of life, and that's a rad moment to discover.
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Thanks for hanging out today. Read through some more stuff here or binge watch my series on YouTube if you're bored. Go read a real book by a real published author if you're looking for real content that is probably a little more real and high class than what you get here for real and for free. Also, don't think that my links to Amazon, social media platforms, or GIFs are affiliate links because ain't nobody got time for setting that up.
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