Yea, the title references to Grease. Don't even consider being surprised unless we don't know each other.
Change has been the constant in my life since graduating from high school. Isn't that silly? But think about it: nothing has been consistent since May 20, 2011. I'm not going to go through everything because I'm sure that my friends are bored of my complaints and I'm sure that blog creepers (Hi to the random people who may be visiting) don't care (which is ok...I respect that haha), but it's all been a crazy whirlwind.
The changes which began in August of this year were ones that I had been looking forward to for years. And then when it came, I was so emotionally not ready. Physically, I wasn't ready either, because I didn't finish packing until, um, 15 minutes before I left my parents' house to move. Crazy.
Then, school started. I didn't think I wanted to be a teacher anymore, so I quickly changed my major to multimedia journalism and my minor to literature. Don't get me wrong (because you probably don't know me and are making quick assumptions about my life), I like writing articles and I like reading, but really?! These things aren't for me. I have mini panic attacks when I have to talk to new people which happens every time I have to write an article. And although I love reading, there aren't any university classes covering Meg Cabot, Kate Brian, or Jodi Picoult's books....so I kinda, sorta, -ish hate those classes. All of these factors combined are probably greatly attributed to my lack of purpose and happiness. I suppose that I'm somewhat purposeful to the campus newspaper because I write one or two articles each week, but I'm not a staff writer, so they're not depending on me, and my former training / writing style is different than what they use. All of the editors, staff members, etc. have been great at making me feel welcome, but I'm not really fitting in. I don't know if it's the issues with styles or what....actually, I do know...we just don't click. And that's ok, but that's not a great way to start off at a university: Only have time to join one activity and not fit in with those people. :-/ It sorta sucks.
And work. Ya know, I won't comment much, but I'll say that: 1) Retail isn't as great as I oddly thought it would be and 2) I'm not too happy there, either, but it's a job, and I'm grateful to have income.
And my apartment. Ha. Well, I love Bree. And the other two are nice friends. But, again, no major super friendship clicking.
It's probably extremely sad to say, but the person who I feel like I have connected with the most is my statistics teacher. Despite students being totally disinterested, not really liking the material herself (because she prefers normal math classes like algebra and calculus), teaching this course for the first time, and overcoming a bit of a language barrier due to her strong Phillipino accent, she is always smiling in class, trying to make jokes, and very happy. I'll be honest and say that I feel like I shouldn't have to be in statistics due to my prior mathematical academic adventures (ha!), but I'm in there, and I'm dealing with it. It's much better to deal with when there's a teacher who understands that I'm semi-misplaced. I'm not literally misplaced because the class is a requirement for the MMJ major, but my educational level seems to be above all of the other students' except for a few because a majority of the other students are in the class to get out of taking College Algebra. Sad. And many are upperclassmen sorority and fraternity members. Generally, I don't mind the Greeks, but when they have an overshadowing appearance of being extreme partiers, I'm not a fan....which translates to this class.
But back to my teacher: I noticed our connection the day that she said that she liked my sequined tank top...win! I love sequins, especially when on grey tanks layered with something black which is what I was wearing that day. It caused me to decide to wear sparkly tanks every test day with hopes that she will grade easier (I know it's a far stretch, but I can hope...see Post 1). Then, today, (technically yesterday), she and I talked after class. It really wasn't about anything important, but considering the only other words that I say on campus are "thank you" to the few people who hold doors open after they walk in and "you're welcome" to the people who I hold doors open for, the conversation was meaningful. I might actually put my stats stuff into my backpack more slowly so that I can actually talk to a person after class.
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In high school, people always said, "Get involved!" Heck, I was more involved than anyone probably ever should be. Want an example? I can give my regular schedule to you. It was crazy, and I absolutely loved it. I was quite involved at SCC, too, but I really don't have time here nor the passion to do much. I wish that I had that passion. I might feel better about things.
Also in high school, I didn't want to become one of those people who seems to have their best years in life during high school. I honestly thought that I wouldn't because I wasn't popular. Although I wasn't popular, I was happy and I did stuff, and that's what made everything so wonderful. Yes, I know that I can't go back, and if I did, I wouldn't like it, but those memories will always be the best until something changes. But until that change, I continue to be one of those sad people who looks back to Aug 2007 - May 2011 with a gleaming eye because of all of the great opportunities that I had that I no longer get to privilege to experience. Well, ok, freshman year sucked, but I can overlook it in the grand scheme of high school.
Full circle. I started out talking about going through changes and how I hate it, and now at the end, I'm looking for changes. I really can't make up my mind, but this shouldn't be your first clue.
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